Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you can’t even move forward? Have you tried moving forward only to realize that you are still in the same spot? Are you overwhelmed with your problems and/or responsibilities?
You may be a wife struggling with an abusive or cheating husband … a woman trying to make her business succeed … a wife and mother dealing with financial crisis … a woman trying to get out of depression or anxiety … a wife wondering when her husband is going to return to her … a mother crying over her rebellious children …
If you answered yes to any of these questions, whatever your circumstances may be, I want you to pay attention to everything you’re going to read. Let go of any fear or doubt or any preconceived thoughts. I want you to trust me because I’ve been there and because I know how it feels. I want you to believe in me because I have overcome.
You have such a strong capacity to handle all these great challenges because of who you (and all of us women) were created to be. The same way your body was designed to give life to a human being is the same way it was created to give life to any of your dying situations. You have the power not only to carry that burden but to overcome.
You may already know this but may have forgotten; or you may have given up. It can also be that the mountain in front of you is blocking you from seeing the light. I know how tough that can be, and how it can get so overwhelming and paralyzing.
The Marriage Mountain
I have climbed so many mountains in my marriage; mountains that I didn’t realize I can overcome. Without these mountains, I will have nothing to share with you today.
Imagine two people from totally different backgrounds coming together in the bond of marriage. These two people grew up in two different families. Each one has his and her own experiences that brought about certain issues. Well, marriage is a place where these issues are brought to the surface. This is why I’ve heard women say, “My husband brought out the worst in me.” I said the same thing back then. And that worst thing was necessary to bring out the best in me.
That mountain is meant to help you resolve your inner issues. It is meant to heal you from brokenness. It is meant to strengthen you in ways you have never even thought of. It is meant to stretch your capacity to love and give.
Whether or not you remain in that marriage, choose to climb that mountain. And when you have come down once again, make sure that you have become a better person.
The Financial Mountain
Money makes the world go round. And the lack of it can make your brain spin in circles.
I will never forget that day when I went grocery shopping and used my credit card, only for it to be declined. I swore to myself that day that never again will I be broke. Well, I’ve been broke so many times after that. Yet, looking at what those seasons of financial lack did to me makes me very thankful for those trying times.
My financial lack made it easier for me to leave everything behind in the Philippines to move to my husband here in the US. My financial lack made me think of setting up a business. My financial lack made me write books. My financial lack gave me and my husband more time for each other. My financial lack made me appreciate the simpler things in life. My financial lack made me think of creative ways to have more income. I can go on and on with my list, but the most important thing my financial lack did to me was draw me even closer to God.
If this is your mountain, don’t get stuck in feeling overwhelmed or helpless. Climb that mountain and ask God for help. Let go of any negative feeling you have. Surrender to Him who owns everything. Release the weight of your burden to Him. Once you’ve reached that place of peace and clarity, then you can think. Pray for God to lead you. If you continue to surrender to Him, you will have the wisdom to do what needs to be done. You will have creative ideas that will bring forth your financial increase.
The Children Mountain
In my book, Simplify to Intensify, I shared about our accountability as parents to our children. We are accountable to how we raise them. If we raise them right, then rest assured that they will be alright, no matter what happens. If we didn’t raise them right, then we should take accountability for what we did wrong and start making things right for us first; then, they will follow.
I set a very bad example to my sons when they were growing up. They witnessed me smoking, drinking, and partying. They saw me in a wrong relationship. They heard me cuss up a storm. Things turned around when I surrendered to God in 2001. My life changed drastically, not right away though. They saw this transformation in me.
However, because of the hurt and pain I’ve caused them, they had to go through their own healing process and experience God personally for themselves. I am now very blessed to have two grown up men who love God.
My sons were so much better than I was. Though I was raised by parents who were devout Catholics, my depravity of attention from my dad made me rebel. I was a very difficult teenager, more so for a mother who was so pure and loving. Yet, because of the solid foundation in God they have instilled in me, and because of the examples they’ve set for me, I returned home one day. How they raised me is the reason for my surrender to God, which happened when I was 33. It took that long, but it was never too late.
If you have this mountain, don’t be afraid to climb it. And when you’re up there, repent for what you’ve done wrong, including the wrong examples you’ve set. Surrender to God and make things right. When you come down, continue living rightly and be the example for your family. Know that in due time your children will return.
The Emotional Mountain
Every negative emotion we have is rooted to our past experiences that have strongly affected us. It may be anxiety, fear, depression, insecurity, or anger. The experiences may be anything from abuse to abandonment or neglect or betrayal.
These emotions are meant to show us what’s going on inside of us. It is our heart’s way of saying, “please help me”. It is not an easy mountain to climb because the feelings are so real. It would be easier to stay in that emotion than to get out of it.
I’ve dealt with insecurity for so long without even knowing it. I talked about problems here and there but didn’t realize the depth of the issue. You know why? Because the manifestations were not feelings of fear or inferiority, but feelings of over-confidence and superiority. It was only through my marriage where my deep-seated issues of insecurity came out. See how the marriage mountain helped me? I didn’t realize until I faced my marriage mountain that I’ve buried my insecurities so deep and covered it up with a false sense of confidence. The only way out of it was to admit that something was wrong with me, instead of covering it up or justifying it or blaming someone else for it.
I began to climb my emotional mountain when I made the choice to overcome it. I was done nursing it. I wanted it gone so bad. When I reached the top, I finally saw my emotional issues for what they were. I saw how my past experiences influenced my thought patterns, which affected the way I felt. There were so many misalignments and misplaced thinking that had to be corrected. It was a long journey that was so worth the climb. And when I came down, my healing gave way to the healing of others around me.
Don’t be afraid to climb this mountain. Listen to what your heart is telling you and help her. Be the adult that will help that child or teenager in you. Get out of yourself so you can help ‘you’.
Whatever your mountain is, know that it is there for a reason. It is meant for you to climb so you can get to the top. And once you’re on top, then you will see things on a bigger perspective.
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