MARRYING A YOUNGER GUY
September 28, 2019
I never wanted to date a guy my age, let alone someone younger than me. So why am I married to a man 10 years my junior?
When I met my husband, I didn't know how old he was. All I knew was that we instantly connected. And, when I finally had the chance to ask him his age, I was shocked. I told him that it won't work. He said, "A day and a thousand years are no different to God." How can I argue with the Word of God? That's a verse straight from the Bible!
After being married to this man for almost 12 years now, I can truly say that God knew what He was doing when He chose him for me.
When I met my husband, I didn't know how old he was. All I knew was that we instantly connected. And, when I finally had the chance to ask him his age, I was shocked. I told him that it won't work. He said, "A day and a thousand years are no different to God." How can I argue with the Word of God? That's a verse straight from the Bible!
After being married to this man for almost 12 years now, I can truly say that God knew what He was doing when He chose him for me.
THE CHALLENGES
One of the greatest challenges in being married to a younger man is just simply the fact that "younger" means a lot of things that go with a 'younger age'. The generation where he comes from is simply what it is -- a different generation with its own set of culture and upbringing.
Although my husband and I come from the same Generation X (me near the beginning of the generation, and him on the tail end of the generation), we still come from two different realms. I was already in my mid-teens, rocking Madonna, while he was barely in Elementary. Yes, there are music that we both grew up in, but from a totally different time zone.
It's not as if music dictates a relationship. Yet, just with music alone you will realize how far apart you really are in age.
I am blessed to have a husband who has a very mature and deep view of things, sometimes even more advanced than I am. So, this really helps.
When it comes to physical things, thank God I have good genes. People who see us think I am the younger one. I've also been physically active for years now, and have remained quite healthy. So, if you are dating a younger man and plan to marry him, or are considering being married to a younger man, make sure that you are in good shape.
With a younger man also comes insecurity issues that women can go through, more so if you already have them. Every other woman married to a handsome younger man can relate to that. It is what it is. A younger man, no matter how mature he is, will always act like his age ... younger than you. If that age gap is huge, you will be trying to keep up with his image, which may not really look good on you, no matter how hot you still are. This is the reality. Thank God I am so way past that now.
If you have children and your younger husband has never had kids, chances are you will end up feeling like his mom. This is something most men don't like ... to be treated like kids. However, there are some men who like this, and this is also not good because he will be looking up to you as his mom. I don't think you would like that.
Marriage in itself is already challenging. Add the age factor to that and it can be more challenging.
One of the greatest challenges in being married to a younger man is just simply the fact that "younger" means a lot of things that go with a 'younger age'. The generation where he comes from is simply what it is -- a different generation with its own set of culture and upbringing.
Although my husband and I come from the same Generation X (me near the beginning of the generation, and him on the tail end of the generation), we still come from two different realms. I was already in my mid-teens, rocking Madonna, while he was barely in Elementary. Yes, there are music that we both grew up in, but from a totally different time zone.
It's not as if music dictates a relationship. Yet, just with music alone you will realize how far apart you really are in age.
I am blessed to have a husband who has a very mature and deep view of things, sometimes even more advanced than I am. So, this really helps.
When it comes to physical things, thank God I have good genes. People who see us think I am the younger one. I've also been physically active for years now, and have remained quite healthy. So, if you are dating a younger man and plan to marry him, or are considering being married to a younger man, make sure that you are in good shape.
With a younger man also comes insecurity issues that women can go through, more so if you already have them. Every other woman married to a handsome younger man can relate to that. It is what it is. A younger man, no matter how mature he is, will always act like his age ... younger than you. If that age gap is huge, you will be trying to keep up with his image, which may not really look good on you, no matter how hot you still are. This is the reality. Thank God I am so way past that now.
If you have children and your younger husband has never had kids, chances are you will end up feeling like his mom. This is something most men don't like ... to be treated like kids. However, there are some men who like this, and this is also not good because he will be looking up to you as his mom. I don't think you would like that.
Marriage in itself is already challenging. Add the age factor to that and it can be more challenging.
REWARDS
The rewards can surely outweigh the challenges if you and your younger husband are highly compatible.
What makes a couple compatible?
I believe that compatibility is more than having a lot of commonalities. The opposite actually holds true. You have differences that perfectly complement each other.
My husband's carefree ways balance out my very disciplined ways; while my disciplined ways give clearer direction to his carefree ways. My maturity that comes with age pulls my husband back to the reality of life; while my husband's youthful ways release me from the pressures of life. My love for running makes my husband take exercise more seriously; and his inability to run for exercise makes me take long walks with him, thereby giving us time to enjoy together.
These are just a few examples of how we greatly complement each other, and how it has gotten better over the years.
One of the greatest rewards of being married to a younger man is how he keeps me young. It gives me the privilege of having two sides: the more serious, professional me; and the fun, more laid-back me.
At the end of the day, it is not about marrying a younger or older man, or even a man your age, but marrying the one who God has specifically designed for you.
God knew I wouldn't have chosen a man 10 years younger than me. Well ... DADDY knows best!
The rewards can surely outweigh the challenges if you and your younger husband are highly compatible.
What makes a couple compatible?
I believe that compatibility is more than having a lot of commonalities. The opposite actually holds true. You have differences that perfectly complement each other.
My husband's carefree ways balance out my very disciplined ways; while my disciplined ways give clearer direction to his carefree ways. My maturity that comes with age pulls my husband back to the reality of life; while my husband's youthful ways release me from the pressures of life. My love for running makes my husband take exercise more seriously; and his inability to run for exercise makes me take long walks with him, thereby giving us time to enjoy together.
These are just a few examples of how we greatly complement each other, and how it has gotten better over the years.
One of the greatest rewards of being married to a younger man is how he keeps me young. It gives me the privilege of having two sides: the more serious, professional me; and the fun, more laid-back me.
At the end of the day, it is not about marrying a younger or older man, or even a man your age, but marrying the one who God has specifically designed for you.
God knew I wouldn't have chosen a man 10 years younger than me. Well ... DADDY knows best!
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LISA MAKI
Simplify to Intensify (c) 2019 |